A few thoughts on parenting

Ephesians 6:1-4 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."[a] 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Parenting is an interesting topic. And not unlike politics and religion, it many times seems to have a emotional reaction when discussed. The spectrum of reactions similarly ranges from people who want to discuss to people who have no interest in discussion to people who are offended by the topic even being raised.

My previous church was big on "Growing Kids Gods Way" back in the early/mid 90's. The founder of that training even visited our church and I had opportunity to have lunch with him at a table of less than 8 and hear first-hand facilitated parenting classes from him and his wife. Quite frankly, I found him arrogant and rude. He also came under a lot of scrutiny by both the secular and religious communities. However, some of the material was useful, and especially for the right people who need exact instructions, it had some merit and there were no doubt things to glean.

The focus on Biblical parenting instruction at our church led to Wonder Woman and I studying and learning on the topic well before we had children. At that church we also were a part of training by John MacArthur, Ted Tripp, Chip Ingram, and others. We constantly thank God for the training we received, believing of course that God gave/gives us natural ability to parent by trusting Him, but realizing that there is great wealth in relying on those who precede us, who have shown the test of time, and that have been called to share the wisdom. Some of the specific things we do are a direct result of that training and the convictions God gave us from it; things specifically like worshiping together on Sunday mornings, like looking in the mirror for the responsibility of spiritually training our children rather than relying/expecting it from the church and of course many others.

So, I say all this, not to purport myself as an expert in parenting (in fact far from it) but to establish that I've certainly given it some thought and study (as we all have!). If you've read this far, you're at least the type that doesn't run to the hills at the mere mention of the topic!

One thing I've realized is that we tend to recreate ourselves (certainly with exceptions!, I know it's similar in thought to this). Not a revolutionary thought, but one that deserves some thought and many times bounces off the surface without sinking in. When it comes to the struggles my children have, I often have to look in the mirror. Then I have to dig deep and ask myself and God to help me change so I can model that to them. One thing for certain, they change easier than me, if I can do it I KNOW they can, furthermore there is merit in doing it myself. Talk the talk, walk the walk.

Another thought is that of the wealth and simplicity of much of the Biblical instruction God has given us. The Ephesians 6:1-4 passage is a cornerstone of our house. Couple that with Luke 6:45, and you've heard much of what we say to our children when it comes to times of chastisement and the times in between. The simplicity is this...we learn to obey God by obeying my mom and dad. When I obey mom and dad it goes well with me. Mom and dad can see what's in my heart by what I do and say. Even if I "obey" mom and dad, but do it with a bad tone or attitude, I will not receive the blessing of joy because my heart is not right, in fact there will likely be consequences. Mom and dad want my heart to be right to so that you can enjoy (have joy) life and live long and prosper (Vulcan theology?), and furthermore bless others and bless God. Remove "mom and dad" and put "God" in there and you can see how it moves naturally/directly from obeying mom and dad to obeying God.

So the words "obey" and "heart" are huge in our house. The discussion between Wonder Woman and Mr. Incredible constantly focus on these 2 words. I'll have to ramble more later, as I think I've got some fires to fight. Maybe Wonder Woman will ramble a little too.