Unbalanced family is like an unbalance diet

There's times where we eat an unbalanced diet because we want to. There's times we eat an unbalanced diet because we're busy and/or don't make time. And there's time where we eat an unbalanced diet because we simply have no choice! In the end, it really doesn't matter why, we end up with a body that's not getting what it needs.

So it goes with family. Right now we're out of whack because we have no choice. I'm not who I normally am. Pain. Stress. Impatience. So it goes. But I see the playing out in the rest of the family. The scale is unbalanced. Too much Mr. Incredible around when he's more like Mr. Incredulous. The scale will be balanced with time. This is a time to learn and to grown. The Greenhouse 5 will be back, right now it's more like Greenhouse4.5

Is it easier to help or be helped?

We live in what I consider to be a pretty stuffy neighborhood. People are nice but not too nice. The yards are relatively big and you could really survive without having to see anyone. Up to this point most don't even know that I'm laid up even though I've been laid up for almost 5 weeks. Today while picking up some yard trimmings that the garbage men didn't take (in my cast) , a neighbor yelled across the relatively busy side street "Do you need some help?". I waved him off. Just now another neighbor emailed to ask if he could help. Missed opportunity on 2 fronts.

One thing I've learned, is that you ironically make friendships by making yourself vulnerable. Sometimes, God takes care of making you vulnerable. Other times you have humble yourself. But in either case, others are served by serving you. Not in some mushy humanitarian way...but by letting others do things, conversations take place, trust can be built, walls can be broken down, and longer-term things happen.

Take my own example in our first home. Not long after we were moving in, I went to Radio Shack and bought the BIGGEST TV antenna they had. As I was struggling with carrying it up a ladder...walking across the roof...avoiding high voltage lines...and steadying it for mounting, my neighbor across the street came running. I think he was concerned I was about to reproduce the Ben Franklin electricity experiment. He got on the roof and gave me that extra hand needed to mount it. From that, a friendship grew. And with that, after he got married, he began to sense God's tug on his life, partly through conversations with me. Soon after, he and his wife were at our church, eventually making decisions to follow Christ. It all started with my need.

Another example is a story by Pastor Don Piper, who survives a horrific crash and finds himself in an unbelievable tale of recovery. He describes this moment in the book, "90 Minutes in Heaven", in which he realizes his need to let others serve him.

"In my thinking, I was being selfless and not trying to impose on them or cause them any trouble...In reality, I was being selfish. There was also an element of pride there---which I couldn't admit then. I knew how to give generously to others, but pride wouldn't let me receive others' generosity.

Another scenario that comes to mind also involves pride. Think of the pride of self. "If I let others help me, I owe them. I don't want to owe them. I won't even ask because if I do, I will be obligated to return the favor" A reality of the way you and I think at times. Some more than others of course...but in reality, all of us.

So in the end...amongst other things...we must learn the skill of letting others help us. And what's the ultimate goal here? The gospel of course.

Go and be helped. You might want to do some helping too, just don't forget both sides of the equation.

Instant Vacation Bible School: Just Add Kids

Do my kids go? Of course. Do they have fun? Of course. Do they sing songs about Jesus? Of course. Do they learn some verses? Of course. How many camps did they go to this year? 2+. Would they gladly go to 10 more? Yes, without blinking.

Of the 3 VBS's we were involved in. One is a large multi-church event with hundreds of kids. It has tremendous involvement from the community. It's a "mega" event, with many churched and non-churched kids, encouraging visitors daily. Another is with the church we do AWANA with, a closed, preregistered event. It ends with a tempting catered BBQ on a Sunday morning. The last is a church we've been loosely connected to via a homeschool group. It's almost a day camp, with the usual VBS stuff, with other electives thrown in (sewing, cooking, crafts). It's almost a full day. It's also a preregistered, closed event.

But with all that said, I'm ready to call a spade a spade. Consider a few quotes from some online articles about the VBS "market".

• "Despite the cost, many churches believe they could not do without VBS. With more parents working full time, VBS has emerged as a relatively inexpensive summer day care option for some families who rotate their children from church to church to fill up the summer school break."
• "Parents and children now compare church to other venues, to children's museums, to high-tech elementary schools, Disney, even their pediatricians' offices are multimedia now," May said. "That's where children and parents are now, and church should probably not have the same homemade feel as when I was a child."
• "About half a dozen major publishers now dominate the VBS kit market, and use development methods similar to any consumer product company introducing shampoo or cell phones: extensive market research, hefty technology investment, and field testing with children to see what works and what doesn't."
• “We’re about ministry,” says Cushing. “I know there are parents who use us as daycare. They’ll sign their kids up for five straight weeks. But [the Apostle] Paul said that what matters is that Christ is preached. I don’t care why they come. That they come is what I’m concerned about.”

I'll at this point add that Wonder Woman's first exposure to church was a large VBS. From there, she went to Sunday School, and then on to being a regular attender at church. It was at VBS she made a profession of faith. That profession, though simple in knowledge, developed into a deep faith with time.

So what is the purpose of VBS? Is it day care? Is it to strengthen the relationship to God of already-churched kids? Is it to introduce new kids and families to church? Is it simply for fun? Is it for day care? Is it all of these?

I'm not necessarily going to answer these questions. But I'll add there's a fine line here that parallels the American church in many other areas. The danger to make the primary focus the event and demote Christ to secondary. The danger to push the fun stuff to fit in to the culture. The danger to be a great club, available without membership dues.

As a Christian, if you're not struggling with these questions...then just call it day care.

The "whys" of life

We all hit them. Some in stride, whereas some stop us in our tracks. "Why?" Why does God allow things to happen? Why doesn't God do things that "should" happen?

In the last year, I've seen a family in our church lose their only son at 18 in a car crash; now, another family we're friends with are facing almost certain death of the father to brain cancer. These are huge events. Acceptance or despair? Joy, sadness, or both.

On my homefront, an ankle break and surgery has me down. Literally on the day I return to work after a 3 week hiatus, I begin to experience abdominal pain. A few excruciating nights of pain later, I'm diagnosed with a kidney stone. It's still there...and I've got that feeling of being kicked while I'm already down.

I tend to take things in stride...it will all work out. No big deal. Push through and get on with it. It's just "life", don't over-analyze it. I know God's plans are what are executed. Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."

But especially when the "Why"s compound, I think it's a fair question to ask. God...What do you want to happen here? How does this fit into your plans? Are you trying to tell me something? Is there discipline going on here?

All reasonable questions to ask...and I believe He will answer.

Not deep and wide

My spare time on the computer continues to be spent more on Facebook than here. Interesting that if you compare my personality from my interactions in a blog versus Facebook, you might think one was a ghost writer. Though I'm corny in both places, my Facebook thoughts are much more guarded whereas here, I am much more apt to let my thoughts flow. I enjoy word play and written banter...very much so in fact...and Facebook allows that with a wide, diverse audience. But it's hard to "be yourself" in a group of 100+ people that vary so widely.

So I keep it at a comfortable level...people like it that way. But every once in a while at least, I got to come over here and let it all hang out.

Miss California slammed

Keith Lewis of the Miss USA pageant said "religious beliefs have no politics in the Miss California family." Anyone want to break that statement down for me? GEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! Thought police.

What if Google was REALLY slow?

You click. You wait. You click "stop". Refresh. Close. Reboot. Kick. Yell. Call IT? Try a different search engine. Yell again. Scream. Is this speed measured by a baud rate? ARGH?!!?! The answers aren't there!

Interesting in looking at the lives of Joseph and David, they both went through a considerable period in their early adult lives waiting for what God had foretold. In the case of Joseph, after having those "everybody's going to bow to me" dreams, he had to go through years of slavery and prison before that was realized. David gets annointed king but has to run around the wilderness hiding in caves, running for his life for a decade or so. Patience and faith. Patience for God's timing. Faith that He will do as He says and desires.

So click and wait...just keep the right frame of mind.

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.